


Fuck Wonderland

by CaughtAlwaysSleeping



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Panic Attacks, hard choices
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-16 10:49:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14163192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaughtAlwaysSleeping/pseuds/CaughtAlwaysSleeping
Summary: Why would Taako accept a sacrifice of his beauty, especially when Magnus agrees to another spin if he needs to say no?





	Fuck Wonderland

**Author's Note:**

> asfdghjk takes place from Taako's POV so internally he's panicking while outside he looks just fine,,

“Taako you are of the elven people, and a good lookin' one at that. So taking time from you is a tricky prospect because elves can live a long, long time, and we don’t want to establish a discrepancy in the sacrifices we demand from our participants. So instead of taking your age from you, what if we sort of take away something that diminishes over time. Which is to say... some of your beauty, Taako.” Lydia gives him a sad little smile like she knows exactly how hard she’s making this choice for him.

“I wonder if you would accept a sacrifice that, uh, deals a hit to your vanity like that. If you take this Taako, you’ll just become... slightly less of just a beautiful young elf man.”

At this point, the conversation slips from him. His beauty? Taako feels a wave of panic tear into him, start eating him alive. His beauty? Fuck this place, this hell hole abomination that is set on taking things with the expert precision of knowing exactly what to take to maximize damage. Fuck this place!

“Put it this way Taako. For the first time in your life, you will simply look... normal. You will be... plain.” She says the words like it’s a curse, which it might as well be. Taako, gorgeously beautiful young elf man, reduced to someone plain?

“Well that’s a fate worth than death if you ask me but Taako, that’s your sacrifice to make bud.” Edward giggles to himself, taunting him and making his statement cutting. A fate worse than death, absolutely. Taako would rather be dead than plain.

“I just don’t- I know I need to make a decision here. It’s just Y’know. It’s a tough one right?” He turns to Magnus and Merle, ears drooping. They twitch with guilt when he sees them, one eyes Merle and Magnus who just forgot the killer of his wife. “This is silly,” he mumbles. How could he hold something as trivial as beauty to their sacrifices?

He knows how selfish he’s being, he’s being so fucking selfish by struggling with this choice. But his beauty is so important to him. It was his only solace when he was young, dusty and wearing torn rags, but beautiful. Homeless and starving, but pretty. He worked hard to keep his skin this flawless, fawned over himself in the mirror for hours making sure his makeup was perfect.

And the panic and the guilt are gnashing at him, tearing him up and making his insides fester. His palms are heating up, getting sweaty from his fear, but he can’t let them see that. He can’t let them know how terrified he is, has to keep his face neutral. What if he said yes and was ugly? What if no one liked him anymore? What if no one loved him anymore? And he thought he was over the opinions of others but he needed them to like him so bad. He needs to be wanted so he can feel good about himself, feel like he’s still worthwhile. What if by giving away his beauty, he takes away his purpose?

“Now listen, listen. Everyone’s battles are their own and I’m not gonna sit there and tell Taako that his struggle is worse or less than mine. I realize how hard that- I know Taako well enough at this point to understand how hard this must be for him.” Magnus says like a true hero. “I understand if this is too much and I’ll take two spins if you need to say no.” He assures Taako, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Taako leans into his warm, strong hand. He can feel the words on his tongue, he can say no, he can refuse this sacrifice. He wants to so, so desperately.

He looks into Magnus’ eyes, seeing his complete honesty in his statement, tries to make his eyes show the war inside of him. He tries to show Magnus in a look how hard this is, how tired he is of this place, how much he wants to go home.

He takes a deep breath. Saying no would be unfair. And usually he would say “fuck it, if Magnus wants to take two spins, so be it,” but he can’t. Taako doesn’t care about people, only looks out for himself. But for the first time in what feels like a hundred years, he wants to look out for Magnus. These two, these dorks, they’re his family. He can feel the shift like he’s inviting Magnus under the cover of his umbrella while it rains.

He gives Magnus a pained smile before turning back to Edward and Lydia. “Listen, I’ve thought about it a lot, and uhhh as near as I can figure, normal Taako is still head and shoulders above ninety percent the population of this stupid planet. So let’s go ahead and go normal!” He says, still trembling from fear, but certain that if nothing else, he would still have his new family.

He doesn’t feel anything different, turns around to see Magnus and Merle, let them see him.

Merle jokingly, or not it’s hard to tell, makes a sound of disgust. And the panic screams and screams until Taako flounders, casting disguise on himself so he looks normal again.

His breathing is harsh, and he’s got his arms wrapped firmly around himself while he tries to calm down. It was a joke, he couldn’t look that bad.

Magnus gives him a hug, strong and gentle. He holds Taako until he stops shaking.

“I know that was really hard for you, and I’m really proud of you.” He says softly.

“Am I ugly?” He blurts out.

Magnus smiles. “Not at all, you’re still the most beautiful elf I’ve ever seen. Merle was just joking.”

Taako breathes a sigh of relief and nods but doesn’t stop the spell. Maybe later when they were done here Magnus could reassure him more, make him feel truly better rather than offer kind words, but they weren’t done in this hell hole yet. Taako resolves to tear this place to the ground when they’re done, destroy Lydia and Edward. Fuck those guys.


End file.
